Dear friends,

Today (Dec-21, 2014) is a very special day for me and my family. Yes, we dedicated our home in Arni, Tiruvannamalai Dt, Tamilnadu to serve the community. It is the home where I was born and bought up. Our family lived there for more than 30+ years.

Our Home

My mom passed away in Sep-2011 because of cancer (You can read the Lessons I learnt from her here. I named the blog post as ‘Mom is God’). She worked as a Govt school teacher and retired as a Govt school headmistress. When she passed away, my dad, my elder brother and I decided to use the home where we lived for the community. Due to various challenges, we were not able to do it immediately.

Unfortunately, my dad also passed away in May-2013 because of cardiac arrest (You can read the Lessons I learnt from him here. I named the blog post as ‘Dad is God too’). It came as a shock to us because, no one expected it. He was not even sick. He watched an IPL match a day before and went to sleep who never woke up again. My dad ran a video cassette rental shop when he was young, then started taking videos and photos for marriages and in his late fifties, he ran a small xerox shop for our living.

Just to keep you aware, that both my mom and dad donated their body to Theni Medical College after their demise. We didn’t burn or bury it. We donated the body to create awareness about ‘Body Donation’.

Few months before my mom passed away in 2011, when she was bed ridden, she told me that I was settled in life and requested me to take care of my elder brother as he was switching jobs because of his family condition. Moreover, once my brother completed Plus-2, my parents made him join a local computer course and he did his BCA through correspondence. He was working in Bangalore in a computer hardware form as System admin which he decided to quit to take care of his little son who was battling few health issues at that time. My Sister in law decided to continue her job as a lecturer in a nursing college. They were switching places often to ensure that their son got required medical attention. I believe, this made my mom to tell to take care of my elder brother.

When my dad passed away, my mom words just echoed me. I was thinking what to do for my brother’s family. We had our own home and a shop in our native, Arni which belonged to both of us after our dad’s demise. I decided to give both the home and the shop completely to my brother so that he can use it to earn some money. I shared my thought to my wife Vidya and she immediately agreed to it. I’m glad that I had a wife who supports me in my every act of life.

I shared my idea with my brother and in a matter of months, I transferred the complete property in his name. I still remember the day when I signed the documents for property transfer. After signing the documents, I just looked at the sky and told my mom, ‘This is the least I can do for my brother. Hope you and father were happy looking at us.’

I told my brother that he should give the home for lease to Team Everest for atleast 20 years to start with so that we can use it for community service (Hope we will be able to use this home for community service for ever!). He immediately agreed to it and we started the renovation work for it.

Apart from putting our personal savings, it was not sufficient to reach the total amount required. So, I reached out to my friends on FB and our Everest volunteers. Thanks to all the volunteers who contributed for this cause. The home is all set to serve the community now!

Today, Dec-21, 2014, we inaugurated the home by inviting the friends of my mom and dad, Everest Volunteers from Chennai, Volunteers who donated for this cause and our relatives.

Volunteers from Chennai arriving at home

Friends of my mom and dad, Volunteers, relatives and Students during the function

My Dad's friends siting at the front row

We named the center as ‘Mom Dad Community Center’ (In Tamil, we named it as ‘Appa Amma Ninaivagam’).

We have named it as ‘Mom Dad Community Center’ as the intention behind this home is to make every individual think about their parents and their contribution in their lives. Every child, every person who steps inside this home should understand the key role their parents played in their lives and give them due respect. Apart from playing a role of an educational hub, this home should stand as an inspiration to many and help them love their parents much more.

It was an emotional day as many of them took their time to share their sweet memories with their mom and dad.

I’m introducing why we started this mom dad Community center and I’m sharing the lessons I learnt from my mom and dad. (Explanation of the quote behind me – The God which we should pray first is ‘Mom and Dad’.

My friend and our Everest core team Volunteer Malathi sharing her experience with my mom. She was there with my mom when my mom breathed last.

My friend and Everest core team volunteer Praveen sharing his mom’s story. He lost his dad when he is just 4 years old and he shared his mom’s brave story of how she worked to take care of the 3 kids in his family.

One of our volunteer’s father also came to the front to share his mom and dad story.

My Aunt (Dad’s sister) shared how my mom and dad played a crucial role in her life. She is working as a School Headmistress now for a free Govt aided School in Arni.

Our entire family came to open the ‘Stone Inscription’ which we kept in front of our home.

Friends and volunteers who joined this ceremony

People from our street joined along with our volunteers for the opening ceremony

Dedicating the home to the Community

Our family who supported us to go ahead with this idea

Special thanks to my Elder brother who supports me always

Translation of the Stone Inscription:

Mom Dad Memorial:

This is the home of Ln.Rcr.K Chandramohan and  K.Lakshmi.

Both of them donated their body after their demise.

Now, they are donating their home also for the community.

This home is an example for Humanity!

This home is a way of giving respect to all the selfless souls!

This home is a temple and will motivate all those who want to serve others.!

Come, Let’s Serve!

We decided to do the inauguration with the oldest person in the street. We called the oldest Grandma from our street to do the inauguration by cutting the ribbon. She was our chief guest!

Her first reaction after cutting the ribbon!

We took her to show the computer room. It was our old bed room+Pooja Room.

The home now has a free computer center, yoga center and a study center for children in the community. It will benefit atleast 500 kids in the community every year. We have appointed staffs and volunteers to take care of the center. The running cost of the center will be supported by our Team Everest Volunteers. I told the kids who are attending the center that though the courses are free for them, it is not free for us. We are raising donation to help them study and requested them to help others when they grow up. I hope it will put a seed of giving in their young minds, which can do magic in future. I believe that we have now made a wise investment to make a better and kinder future for all of us!

The Computer Hall!

Just to keep you posted, we are also planning to roll out more initiatives centered around ‘Parents and their Love’ through this community center so that we can see much lesser old age homes in future.

Wall Hangings to remember our parents

I’m sure that everyone agrees to this quote!

Thanks to my friend Javeed who volunteered to design these beautiful posters. We always lacked creative designers who can help design creative posters and banners. If you are the one who is reading this post and knows photoshop, Illustrator and works as a professional designer, do let me know. We can take your help for our future initiatives! Please register here if you are a designer.

We are also planning to create a website for Mom Dad Community Center. If you are a website developer and have developed websites in the past and ready to help us, please register here. We will write to you soon once our plan is ready!

My dad had put a LIC policy in the name of my brother and me before his death. We got Rs 30,000 each (Rs 60,000 in total) as maturity amount. We decided to use it for this community center and used the amount to do plumbing work and to paint the home with pictures, quotes of mom and dad to inspire people who come to this home. We are happy that the money he saved for us is put to use for a good cause. We just thought, he just donated even after his death!

A picture to show the love of Mom!

A picture to show the care of Dad!

Few Inspiring Quotes about Mom and Dad!

There is no life which doesn't call 'Amma' (Mother) 

There is no growth without giving respect to your Mother

The God who speaks in front of us 

is none other than 'Mother'.

I didn't get the luck of having you inside my stomach. 

That's why I hold you in in my heart for ever!

- Daddy 

(Please forgive me if the translation is Pathetic :))

This is how our upstairs looks like now. We will be using this place as a Study center for students.

My mom and Dad picture while climbing the steps! 

Before leaving, all the volunteers took a picture in front of the paintings

A young mom and dad taking a picture along with their kid!

Though, we named it as ‘Mom Dad Community Center’, for me personally, it is a ‘Mom Dad Temple’. It's a place filled with love, peace and happiness.

I wanted to end this blog post, by requesting you all to take a little time in our busy schedule to show our love and affection towards our parents. Let’s ask them what they want. Let’s ask them where they want to go. Let’s have a walk with them.

My mom wanted to fly in flight atleast once which I’m not able to fulfill. When the opportunity came, she was so sick to fly. My dad just passed away in sleep and didn’t get an opportunity to see my marriage which he awaited for long.

This life is very short. Don’t postpone your love. Don’t postpone your affection. Be with them. Be for them.

Finally, I invite you all for our ‘Mom Dad Community Center’ along with your family (Especially your mom, dad or your kids). You can even celebrate your mom, dad birthdays and anniversaries in our center.

Make a visit there once. It’s just 150 Kms from Chennai. Let’s celebrate our parents!

Note:

1) If you are interested in volunteering and ready to teach kids, sign up as a volunteer in  www.teameverest.ngo/volunteer

2) If you wish to sponsor and educate a kid, check www.teameverest.ngo/donate

3) If  you wish to get in touch with me, whatsapp me at +91 89399 12365.

Happy Volunteering!

Hello friends,

Thanks to everyone who gave me strength and prayed for my family when my mom passed away on Sep-14th. Your presence, phone calls and msg’s helped me overcome what have happened.

My mom is my biggest inspiration and I’m sure I will make her proud with the value which she had taught me during her life time. She served as a Govt school teacher during her life time. In 2006, she was affected by cancer and she don’t want to resign her job and continued to serve as a teacher till her retirement in May, 2011.

Once again, thanks everyone for your prayers and support. You are my greatest wealth I have earned in my lifetime!

Ch1blogs is always one of my best friend where I share what I feel. Few days after my mom passed away, some of my friends sent me a text message to blog about the important lessons I have learnt from my mom. They have met my mom during few Everest visits and have been inspired by her. Hence decided to blog few moments which I are close to my heart and the important values and lessons that she taught to me.

The missing child

My mom put me in a new school during my 7th std. The school is 15kms from my native Arni. On the first day of the school, my dad helped me get on the right bus to go to school. I too got down at the right bus stop and reached the school. But my mom was anxious that her child might be struggling to find the bus stop. So, she asked one my relative to go and check in the school whether I have reached there or not. When my relative came to my class room, I was some where else. Don’t know exactly where I went. So, my relative went back home and told my mom that I was missing. She got even more scared.

My dad had told me earlier that there was a bus at 4.30pm and if I catch that, I can reach home by 5.15pm. But, actually the bus was at 4.20pm and my school gets over only by 4.30pm. So, its impossible to catch that bus. The next bus is only at 5.15pm. Since it was my the first day to the school, no one knew about this. So, everyone was expecting my arrival at 5.15pm in Arni. But it was only that time I started from my school. So, when 4.30pm bus arrived at my native, my relatives found me missing and my mom started to cry.

My dad consoled my mom by telling that I will be coming in the next bus. They were in a plan to give a police complaint if I don’t reach Arni in next bus. Unaware of what was happening in my home, I boarded the 5.15pm bus and reached Arni by 6pm. Seeing me, my dad told that my mom is crying and took me to my home in all haste. Seeing me, my mom gave me a big hug and a dozen of kisses. Immediately, she moved to kitchen to make Boost for me identifying that I’m hungry. I wonder how moms identify their child’s hunger in a matter of seconds!

That’s the first day I saw my mom crying. Probably that is the first day, I realized that how much my mom loves me.

The smart kid

I was not a smart kid during my school days (Even now). I use to score less than 7th rank. Preferably 5th. During my school days, I used to read my marks to my mom before handing over the report card. I used a very smart strategy here. I started with subjects where I scored less marks and would go in ascending order. That way, I could mention the subject with maximum mark at the last. I feel that way, I can escape the mom’s scolding for scoring less marks in other subjects. But my mom never scolded me, instead, she proudly told my relatives that I always tell the highest scored mark at the last. I Don’t know why that makes her proud. May be other kids don’t do the same!

Even when I scored 2 centums in Chemistry during my plus2, I told it last and I still remember that smile in her face and her happiness. She immediately took a spoon of sugar and put it in my mouth.

The last kiss

It’s on Aug-6th, 2011. She was admitted in Kasthuribai hospital in Chinnalapatti, Dindugal dt. due to her illness. I went there with my certificates which I recieved the previous day during the ch1blogs 5th anniversary function. I showed the certificates to my mom who was bed ridden by that time. I told her that I got the maximum no of awards and also got the ‘Most valuable blogger award’ which is the most prestigious blogger award in Cognizant. She told that she is very proud of me and happy to get a son like me. She gave me a kiss on my cheeks. I don’t remember the last time she kissed me before this, but this is the last kiss I got from her.

What I learnt from her?

What i’m today is because of her. There are so many things I learnt from her. Especially in the past two years when she was severely affected by cancer.

Her passion for teaching: She was 1st diagnosed with mouth cancer in 2006. At that time she was working as a headmistress in a school in a village called Sirumoor, Tiruvannamalai dt. She got treatment in Adyar cancer institute, Chennai and recovered. She only took medical leave and joined the duty after her treatment. Again in 2009, she was diagnosed with abdomen cancer. This time she was not able to eat anything. Anything that she ate, she vomited it immediately. The doctors told that the cancer cannot be removed since it has spread already. However, a bypass surgery was done for her to intake food. Post surgery, my brother and I requested my mom to get voluntary retirement. But, she refused. She don’t want to sit idle in home. She wanted to continue her teaching profession till her retirement.

I didn’t want to force her any more. She continued to serve as a school headmistress and retired in May, 2011. You can look at the picture which is taken during her retirement function in the school. It will help you understand how much fight she has put to continue her teaching profession despite her illness.

Happy for family – When she was admitted in Adyar cancer institute in 2009, she told me that she was a very lucky girl for getting such a caring husband and 2 good sons who do not have any bad habits. She didn’t think about anything else. It made me think whether is that all a women expects in her life – A good husband and a child? It made me think how simple and great women are!

No one is an enemy – This is one big attitude I got from her. I have never seen my mom pointing out someone and talking bad about them. She never treated anyone as an enemy. Even when some of our relatives had a fight with my mom and didn’t speak with her, she never treated them as her enemy. Instead, she opened a LIC policy for their daughter whose parent refused to spoke with my mom. Her love for others doesn’t change based on how they react or respond

Eat well – When my mom got married to my dad, she had the responsibility to take care of my dad’s sisters (3 of them) and arrange marriage for them. Since my dad is the eldest son to my grandparents, being his wife meant many responsibilities. It was a big joint family that time. So, she use to cook for all of them before leaving to school. Even later days, she cooks for my dad, brother and me and have food at the last (Mom’s are same everywhere!). She checked the clock often to ensure that she was not running not late for school. If it is getting late, she took less food and left to school on time.

Years later, she regretted that her illness is because of not having proper food during her young days. She requested me to have food on time and to not compromise on it. So, my dear IT friends, please have food on time. If you reject food now, food will reject you in future.

Be kind – I cannot get a better example to quote than this. 3 days before she passed away, we bought her from Chinnalapatti (Dindugal dt) to Chennai in an Omni van. She is terribly sick and she cannot sit or even sleep. Even sleeping is a lot of pain for her since she is very thin (Close to 20Kgs). She takes only liquid food ( 3 or 4 cups of boost or coffee or ProteinX a day). Very difficult for her to speak due to lack of energy. She speaks hardly 50-100 words a day. Even at that time, after reaching Chennai, she asked me to call the Omni van driver. Once he came, my mom lying in bed, opened her mouth with a lot of pain and told ‘Thanks’. What more can I say? She is like that! A down to earth human!

Speak out – Whatever the issue is, my mom sits and speak with concerned people to understand what have happened and try to resolve the problem. She always think what’s next and never regretted for the past!

Respect for God – She had high respect for God. She believe hard work combined with God’s blessing is more powerful than mere hard work or prayers. 3 months back we took her to Tirupathi and from there she directly came to Chennai and stayed with me for a week. During her stay, I arranged a call taxi and took her to an Amman temple in KK Nagar, Baba temple in ECR and to the church in Besant nagar. For her, all God is same. She respects all religion. 5 days before she passed away, she wants to take her to the Kamatchi amman temple, our family deity (Kula theivam). When took her in a van and from the entrance of the temple, we took her in a wheelchair. She is not even able to raise her hands to pray the God. After reaching in, she requested my dad to keep kumkum in her forehead. That’s something she wants my dad to do all the time!

Be confident – She is the height of confidence. Till her last day, I have not seen her loosing even an inch of confidence. When she was admitted in Adyar cancer hospital in 2009 there was a 3 years old kid fighting cancer in the same room where my mom’s bed is. She use to point out that girl and tell me, when she is able to fight cancer, why not I? She took that little girl as her inspiration to fight cancer.

Taught me what a relationship is – Sep-2 is her wedding day. My dad gifted her a gold ring for the wedding anniversary. When I met her last time, I asked who gave her the ring. She replied as her lover pointing out my dad! Adding to it, she told that my dad’s love have never changed even a bit from day-1 to till date. It made me understand what a relationship is. My parents taught me what a relationship is!

I would like to thank so the following people for keeping my mom happy during her stay in this world.

1. Thanks to my Dad. He stayed awake full night sitting near to her bed when she is sick. He rarely slept during those tough days. Without his love and care, my mom might have suffered a lot. Thank you Dad!

2. Thanks to my brother and all my relatives who keep enquiring her health and motivating her all the time.

3. Thanks to the doctors, staff members of Adyar Cancer Institute who were very kind to my Mom and our family members. They are doing a very great service to humanity. Simply great!

4. In 2009, when she was admitted in Adyar cancer institute, they told boys cannot stay with her since it is a ladies ward. It will take atleast one night for some of my relatives to reach Chennai. Thanks to Everest volunteer and my friend Subbulakshmi who came and stayed with my Mom in the hospital for one full night taking care of her. Words fail to appreciate her timely help.

5. Thanks to all the God’s who gave strength to my Mom to fight cancer.

6. Thanks to all my friends (All Everest volunteers are my friends too!) who donated blood for my Mom in Adyar cancer institute in 2009.

7. Thanks to my friend and Mom Malathi (I call her mom because of the infinite care she shows to me) who stayed with my Mom during her last 2 days. She worked full days in office and kept awake at night to take care of my Mom. My Dad and Mom considered Malathi as her daughter. She was with my Mom when she gave her last breathe. Here, I also thank my friend, roommate and sweet brother Rajan who helped all of us to pack things and get set to go to native when my Mom passed away on Wednesday morning.

8. I would like to thank all my Everest friends and volunteers who came to my home in Pallavaram to meet my Mom, a day before she passed away. She was very happy to meet all of them. Many of the Everest volunteers know my Mom well in person

9. Finally, I would like to thank all my beloved friends who prayed for her well being. Without your support, my Mom might not have survived cancer so far. Thanks for everyone’s prayer and support. You are my strength!

As per her wish and my dad’s wish, we donated her body to Theni medical college. This is only the 7th body donation to the college in the past 5 years. The below paper clipping may share more details about it (Click on the image to enlarge it).

When I went to Theni medical college for medical donation, I took these pictures:

(Anatomy means study of human body)

By writing this post, I feel like spending few hours with my mom now. I’m sure with all the values she has taught me, I will make her proud as much as possible.

Before ending this blog, just wanted to share an incident which I cannot forget.

It was in 2009. She was in Arni. Whatever my mom ate, she vomited. It continued for 3 days. Then, she went and met few local doctors and no one is able to diagnose what had happened! It is more than 8 days now that she had something in her stomach. We brought her to Chennai Apollo for a complete health check up. After the check up, the Apollo doctors diagnosed something wrong in her stomach and told us to take her to Adyar Cancer institute. In Adyar, they confirmed it as Abdomen cancer and we admitted her on the 10th day and she was put on drip.

Since it is a women’s ward, I was not allowed to be with my mom in nights. So, I went home and came the next day morning. It was almost 10 days back that she had her last food. When I went to see her, the first question she asked was ‘Did you had breakfast?’. Just hearing this, my eyes was filled with tears. There was a lady who last ate 10 days back and when she saw his son, the first thing she asks his is about his breakfast! How can she be like this?

I did not want to cry in front of her, came out and just sank in to a thought – ‘Is mom a God?’. If you ask me, I will tell ‘Yes’.

Mom is Love. Mom is God.

P.S: This blog post is dedicated to all mom’s in this world. If you think, this blog post have touched your heart, go back home and give her a hug and kiss. If she is far away, give her a kiss over the phone. If she is not alive, close your eyes and tell ‘I love you’ to your mom.

In all the means, she will feel it. Let me know once you have done that. I will be the happiest person in this world to hear that!

Note:

If you wish to get my personal updates on whatsapp, plz whatsapp to +91 8939912365 as ‘Update Me’ with your name and city mentioned in it.

You can also follow my updates on Facebook and Twitter – @kartheevidya

Terrorism is not new to India and to this world. If the blood wetted this land during each terror attack is not cleaned, this world would have been floating in blood long back!

Now, world has seen one of the world’s ever worst terrorist attacks last week. With terrorists in their duties (!!!), more than 200 killed and 350+ got injured. It was the hot topic in all Medias last week (even now).

Everyone blamed the poor Indian security, the rich politicians and the coward terrorists. After the attack we lost 16 of our life saving GODS. (After seeing this attack, do you still call them as NSG or army or police or what so ever???)

There was lot of angry voices to tighten security in India. Political parties played their part as usual. But, something was running in my mind. Does securing our self is all what we can do now?? If we are secure enough, terrorists will start attacking China or Bangladesh or some other parts of this world. It is the same people but of different nationality is going to be killed. It’s the same blood which is going to wet this land.

Does it mean that we should not tighten our security?? No. What I want to tell is, just tightening our security is not enough. Something extra needs to be done to overcome terrorism.

Shall we go ahead and start killing terrorists across the globe??? Yes, you can. But at the end, you might have killed all Terrorists in this world, but not Terrorism. When you believe only one more terrorist is left alive in this world, there would have been thousands of terrorists trained and got spread across this world.

So, what is the solution? – Kill terrorism, ……..not terrorists!!!

Instead of preventing the enemy from attacking us, let us prevent an enemy being created!!

Just increasing security and killing terrorists may give you a temporary solution. But, killing terrorism will be the real and final solution for all terrorist attacks.

How can we kill terrorism? By killing all terrorist? No!!! We can kill terrorism only by not allowing anyone to become a terrorist!! How can we do that?

By ‘Love’ and ‘Value based Educational system’!!!

Love is the most powerful weapon this world has ever seen! A person with a lovable mother/father cannot be a terrorist at any cost! Their parent’s love would have already planted the seeds of kindness in one’s heart and there is no place for terrorism to spread its roots!

Let us start loving each other. It is the humanity in people which keeps people still alive in this world. Else, the words ‘People’, ‘Humans’ would have been added in history and queued next to ‘Dinosaurs’.

And, there are humans who turned to be terrorists because of the surrounding circumstances. We can name them as ‘Situational terrorist’. What can prevent them from becoming a situational terrorist is nothing but the ‘Value based educational system’. I have a personal feeling that today’s educational system is concentrating more on academics, neglecting the feed of moral values to the students.

A good educational system will not create Engineers and Doctors. It will create Honest, sincere, ethical Engineers and doctors!!!

We should start preaching good moral values to others. We should start doing it right from our home. You might have seen in many houses, when a kid falls hitting a chair when it tries to walk, many parents will go and start beating the chair to convince the child and to stop its cry. This is where we start sowing the seeds of terrorism in that child’s heart. The best response would be, to kiss the child, hug it and tell him to be careful next time. You can question me like the child is very immature to understand this. But, I may in turn question you, “if a child is matured enough to understand when you beat a chair, why cannot it understand your kisses and hugs?? “.

Just preaching others is not enough. We should start following it!!! You being a lion, cannot ask the tiger to be a vegetarian! Practice and preach!

The way you react to a situation matters a lot!! Your attitude determines your reaction!! So, have the right attitude!!!

To reach a stage of ‘Zero Terrorism’, everyone needs to play their role. You cannot just ask the politicians or the army to ensure the countries safety. You need to be socially responsible. Just like you being a good son/daughter to your father/mother, just like how sincere you are to your boss, Be a good citizen to your country!

You may ask whether ‘Zero Terrorism’ is possible. Why not? When a BAD can be taught easily to someone, a GOOD can be taught much more easily to others. Believe first. If faith is there, then you have won half the battle!

So, what can you do now?? How you can help this society kill Terrorism?? Simple.

Love all. Follow and preach moral values. Your great love and good values will certify this world as a ‘Zero Terrorism place’

Let us make the word ‘Terrorism’ available only in dictionary!

P.S: ‘Killing Terrorism’ will be a real tribute to those ‘Life savers’ who lost their lives during the attack and not a simple royal salute!

P.S.S: I just wrote what I felt. It is straight from my heart. I’m not an anti-terrorism expert. But a simple creature in this world who want to live in a peaceful world! This post is dedicated to all those who wants peace in this world!